Que Sera, Sera

Do you ever wonder what moments, events, or disturbances in your life made you who you are today? And for that matter, what decisions or actions they influenced without your knowledge? 

Do you ever wonder why you do the things you do, and if you met yourself, would you even like you?

Do you ever wonder why you’re here on earth at this very moment? What purpose do you hold, if any? And with that, do some people have no purpose in life? Are some people really meant to take up space?

Do you ever wonder how many people you have affected throughout your lifetime? Even just from a day delaying traffic or being in front of them in line at the supermarket?

Do you ever wonder how many people are thinking about you at this very moment? What are they saying? Would you even want to know what they’re thinking?

 Do you ever wonder why people are in your life? Are you supposed to dislike a particular person or did you alter your course with anger and stubborn attitudes?

I think of you constantly. I write of you constantly. There is no interval of time where your face, eyes, laugh, death doesn’t cross my mind. Maybe you want it this way, maybe this is your own personal way of signifying to me that you are with me everywhere I go. I haven’t labeled this to be a curse or a blessing, but my blood still carries a sadness throughout my body; I become stiff, motionless, numb. I have your soul with me in this opal necklace that once laid upon your neck, but please save some of mine for personal sanity. 91 years, 2 months, 16 days worth of pictures, stories, memories keep you preserved in your past perfections. I hope sooner than later I can appreciate more than mourn.